By Karin Freeland
Fear plagues us in many ways. It can prevent us from going back to the gym, apologizing to someone, or taking a leap in our careers. But what if the key to overcoming fear lies not in avoiding it, but in transforming our mindset? Perhaps if we learned to accept fear as part of the journey, we’d actually get further in life and achieve more of our goals.
Let me explain!
To conquer fear, we must first understand it. Most of the time, our fear can be represented by an acronym: False Evidence Appearing Real, or F.E.A.R. In this case, we fabricate scenarios in our minds, convincing ourselves that our fears are real when, in fact, they’re not. Imagine you want to get back to the gym, but thoughts of everyone staring at you when you walk in or fumbling with the machines hold you back. This self-generated fear becomes so powerful that it prevents you from even stepping foot in the gym. But the reality is, none of these fears are happening—they exist solely in your head. The trick is to ask yourself: Is this fear based on reality, or is it self-created? Once you make this distinction, you can move forward without the burden of false fear.
Embrace the Fear
There's a common misconception that confident or successful people are fearless. This couldn’t be further from the truth. The difference is, they don’t let fear stop them. The late Dr. Susan Jeffers, in her book Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, teaches us that fear doesn’t have to be a barrier. Instead of trying to eliminate fear, embrace it. Acknowledge that fear is part of the journey, and choose to move forward despite it. Successful people experience fear, but they don’t allow it to dictate their actions.
Fear vs. Excitement
Interestingly, fear and excitement trigger similar physiological responses—they both raise your pulse and create a surge of adrenaline. The difference lies in how we perceive these sensations: fear is viewed as negative, while excitement is seen as positive. But what if we could choose our perception? Think about a time when you were nervous about something in the workplace – a promotion, a raise, dealing with a bad client. Instead of letting fear take over, try telling yourself that you’re excited. The shift in mindset can transform the experience. When you focus on the excitement rather than the fear, you can turn a potentially stressful situation into an enjoyable one.
Name it, Claim it, Reframe it
One powerful technique to overcome fear is to: Name it, Claim it, and Reframe it. Start by identifying what you’re afraid of. You can say it out loud or write it down, but whatever you do, don’t leave it in your head. For example, “I’m afraid to leave my job.” Next, own it. Boldly admit why this scares you. Perhaps you’re worried about financial security or losing the approval of friends. Once you’ve claimed your fear, it’s time to reframe the thought. Consider this: “I can always find another job, and my true friends will support me no matter what.” By reframing the fear, it becomes less daunting, allowing you to create a plan and move forward.
Fake It Till You Make It
This classic strategy is one of the most effective ways to face your fears. Ask yourself, “What would the most confident, successful version of me do in this situation?” By stepping into this mindset, you can navigate through fear. I once had a client who was nervous about holding executives accountable for completing a board presentation that she was tasked with compiling. When she asked herself what her most confident self would do, she knew exactly how to proceed. This approach can be applied to any situation—by acting as if you’re confident and fearless, you eventually become so.
Fear of Failure vs. Fear of Success
While fear of failure is commonly recognized, many people also experience a fear of success. This fear can manifest in various ways, such as worrying about maintaining high performance, fearing that others will be envious, or feeling undeserving of success. Both fears can hold you back, but recognizing which one is at play is crucial. A coach or therapist can help you identify and address these fears effectively, allowing you to break free from their grip. It’s been said repeatedly what separates professional athletes from amateurs is the mindset of focusing on past success over past failures in a tense situation.
Fear Can Be Healthy
It’s important to remember that not all fear is bad. Fear is a natural instinct that can serve as a helpful alarm system. For example, if you’re considering starting a business, fear might caution you against using your entire life savings, prompting you to approach the venture more cautiously. Similarly, if you’re taking on a new project at work, a little fear can motivate you to be more diligent and thorough. In these cases, fear isn’t something to overcome, but rather a guide that helps you make smarter decisions.
Fear is Universal
Finally, it’s essential to recognize that fear is a universal experience. No one is immune to it, regardless of their success, financial status, or education. When we acknowledge that everyone has fears, it normalizes the experience and reduces its power over us. If you’re feeling afraid, take comfort in knowing that you’re not alone. You’re human. And with the right mindset, you won’t let fear hold you back any longer.
Remember, overcoming fear isn’t about eliminating it but transforming your relationship with it. By shifting your mindset, embracing fear, and reframing your thoughts, you can move forward with confidence and courage. So, go ahead—makeover your mindset and watch your fears diminish.
Karin Freeland is a certified Life Coach focused on helping women transform their careers and achieve their dreams by combining the lessons she learned in her 15 years in the corporate sector with her hundreds of hours coaching. Award-winning author of “Grab Life by the Dreams“ and podcast host of “Rock Your Reinvention,” learn more about her and her company Karin Freeland Coaching & Consulting, LLC at www.karinfreeland.com.
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